As is unity

I was told I needed to say what happened. Like actually, pen to page – thought to word – feeling to expression. I’m used to letting my pictures stand on their own, but there was more felt here than I provide a visual representation; there was more spoken than displayed. It’s been a couple of weeks and this evening is still ringing in my ears. So here it is – my view of the worship night in script and image.

…

I don’t know what we expected, but I can tell you it’s not what we got. It’s funny that God will continually surprise us with that. We prepare, plan and set and then he comes at it with a completely different approach. I think it’s just because he doesn’t like to be predictable; constant yes, he always is, but predictable is something that I think he bucks the system in. — There was a stirring in me all day – this … almost warning(?) or some sort of building anticipation leading up to that night. Entering into that space of the Mission Place before the masses, there was this bareness before us. Just like the concrete floors, seemingly base line, mundane and traditional, but coming at it from certain angles, you knew there was something that was about to happen. Like the light getting caught in crevices in certain ways revealing the roughness. It was almost porous for the purposes to absorb the pain and praise.

Crowds gathered and congealed into their acceptable and known groups. These pods popped up forming the comfortable tribes. It was good buzz, even in the division there was some sort of unity in the surface conversation and ease of environment.  I’m not an enthusiast by any means – I’m the rational one that steps back and evaluates from many perspectives. I take account everything from the layout of stage and chairs, to lighting, to the type of people collectively, to structure of program, to (mainly) the feeling in the room. And I’ll just say it was practical, different but completely practical.

There were 3 major moments that I think shifted the entire emotion of the evening and defined why we were there. 1) Alignment 2) Surrender and 3) Claim.

• Alignment

And while there may have been hesitation in the first moments because in this place there was little familiarity and too many had a hard time gaining their bearings, the worship team set the tone with lyrics speaking:

Come have your way in us
Come have your way in us
Come fill us with your love
Come and tell us who we are

Repeating again and again, what started as vacant and unknown words became filled and personal beseeching, beckoning the Spirit’s presence to come. I should probably explain the necessity of this tone. With at least 8-10 different churches represented in this room, not to mention age and gender, and race – it was surely a motley crew. There were clear lines of discord and differing histories that somehow managed to make all their ways into this mid-sized room. But I think that the distinguishing factor that called all these unique people to this moment was a fire. Each person I spoke with that evening has this insatiable beat too them; this ticking time bomb or rather, final dissatisfaction. All of these people came with the same mantra of “enough”. They all had had enough of the lack of unity in the Church, and this became the battle ground to stake their claim.

“Sing it again! Call out to him! Let him know he’s welcome here!” prompts of affirmation given from the stage, drawing the congregation into a deeper union and awareness to him – an understood communion. It was the marker and mission statement that centered souls and began to withdraw the lines of dissension.

• Surrender

Once the desire was centered, the individual barriers started to rise and quickly fall. The realization that this was a place with people like you but not like you but with the same mission in mind angered your flesh and all of a sudden certain things fought back because this was unmarked territory in your soul. Maybe you’d skirted these issues before but being in the presence with those in the same place as you but at the same time not, made your muscles tense. But the words of truth gave direction in your uncertainty.

Spirit of God fall fresh on us
We need Your presence
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
Here as in heaven

There’s something in repetition, especially with this generation. Maybe it’s in the mundane where we find faith, or maybe it’s because we brush over words so quickly and don’t allow meditation to take place. We have a hard time allowing something to seep deep within our souls, because we lack the imagination of its impact or maybe it’s fear that hinders us. But the bottom line is that the more we say it, the more we start to believe it. Preaching to ourselves these truths again and again, the second shift happened. We lost control in the best way. It wasn’t about the sound levels or the differences in skin tone or the even the mission of the evening, but something happened where those muscles that were once tense in fear, let loose and we died a little. We died a little to our preferences. We died a little to our stereotypes. And in turn, we sought after surrender. If I could tell you about the sound of surrender, I would. But I can’t. It’s not something that you can articulate. How do you explain the letting loose of your soul? And somethings aren’t meant to be explained but experienced.

• Claim

This was probably my favorite moment of evening. It really wasn’t the song or the person singing but the movement. After we surrendered to Him what was rightfully His, something was given back to us. And you could feel it. He didn’t come rushing in with it, but the build to this moment developed a cry and boldness that wasn’t there before. We weren’t there at the beginning of the night, but somehow he led us to it.

All the earth will shout
Your praise
Our hearts will cry
These bones will sing
Great are You, Lord

The song was sung. The verse spoken and we were lead to a place of worship. But what happened next I’ve only experienced a few times, truly. The worship leader had finished this song and the band prepared to move on to the next, but the Spirit pushed back and said “not yet”. And that cry of boldness rose up, took claim of the words being sung and sang it again. It rang again. And again. And again. And this motley crew with division and discord and clear divides claimed together their voice and led us back into worship. This one voice was not led by a band or person, but a people unified through the Spirit.

It was a combination of all of these events that ultimately led up to God smiling. Can I say that? I think God smiled, actually smiled with glee and delight at what happened that night. I’m not sure if there is another way to describe the aftermath other than knowing that unity was sought after and won.

…

There’s much more I could tell you of this evening and of these people, but even I’m having a hard time with adjectives. Maybe the word I’m looking for is foreign. Because the idea of some many different people of differing churches and friend groups combining in one place to worship the same God felt — foreign, like we didn’t belong there but all together at-home at the same time. It was foreign to flesh but craved and savored by the soul. As is unity.

The beauty in the exchange

Be gentle on me – this is first time in a long time I’ve written.

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Expectation

Reality

Desire

Need

Confrontation

Embrace

The constant tension of afflicting emotions. The breadth between the opposing. The gap in which we can never stand nor stay still. Like a pendulum swinging back and forth, we beat into submission the emotions that spring up like weeds in the spring – a task necessary but never-ending. We justify, contort the situation and lie to ourselves to “make” our emotions obey. When we thrash against ourselves in our seemingly self-made disfunction, we reject these conflicting stands. We know what our response “should” be and what is “acceptable”, and we stand in the tension fighting ourselves and our old selves.

It’s not like I have this figured out – the constant battle of expectations and reality I think haunts everyone. And we get disappointed way more with ourselves than others when it comes down to it. We “should have known”, we “felt it coming” and we beat ourselves up when the other person doesn’t measure to the expectation we have silently assigned them. Stop here and know I’m not just talking about boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. We do this in every encounter – battle ourselves in what we should expect to receive someone and stand helpless and dependent, at the mercy of their response in our feelings – like they have the complete power to make or break us. Why do we do this? Why do we allow such control or access to our hearts and our beat to be held in another human’s hands. I’m not saying we shouldn’t expect certain things from certain relationships, but we cannot let ourselves become devastated by their disregard.

You are not my happiness.

He is not my joy.

She is not my will to live.

And they should have never been given that title in the first place. The disfunction that creeps into our hearts is not the level of emotion felt but the expectation assigned. You have lost your perspective in your approach. You’re too close to your own checklist of what you need to even catch a glimpse of what is actually happening.

This is not about what you get. This is not about what they give you. This is not even about who they are to you. Can you not sense a theme here – you and what you want to get. Now before you beat yourself up too badly, realize that this is you learning how to love in the most basic form. The realization that this relationship is not entirely for you is harsh and sobering, and frankly hurts. When we assign the value of a person to our lives based on what they have to bring to the table and expect that to be their role in our lives, we lose the opportunity to be surprised. We lose the opportunity to truly receive without an agenda.  We lose the opportunity to extend grace… We lose the opportunity to see the beauty in the exchange.

Colossians 3:9-10 “Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator.”

Expectations/Reality – welcome to working out your salvation. Welcome to normal. You’re not crazy to have these emotions – You were made in His image and he has them! So, it’s not a sin to feel – it’s the tethering of your emotional status to another’s actions that is the crazy part, and we all do it. We all sit there and wait by the phone on edge hoping that text message comes back with a “yes”. We all plan parties and expect the thanks for hosting that we rightly deserve. We all wait for this performance that we’ve mapped out in our head of how they are to act in it, and it doesn’t work like that. That’s not love, that’s control and it’s a lack of trust. I just thank God doesn’t do this with me. He doesn’t change his character because of my behavior. He doesn’t approach me differently when I offend him. He doesn’t hold his love hostage when I don’t hold up my end of the bargain. He extends grace even when I hurt him, and has for thousands of years. He feels and has been left out and disheartened and left vulnerable to us when we don’t complete act out how we should in the grand scheme of things. But it doesn’t really matter because he doesn’t change because of you. And I shouldn’t change because of your actions – at least my character shouldn’t. It’s ok to be insecure or lonely or questioning in your emotions. So feel and feel deeply! Sorrow, heartache, lacking – but also, joy, life, smiles and warmth. We were made to have these tensions. We were made to feel the swing. Because you’re not the same you anymore – you’re new and you’re being made new every day, in every encounter, in every keystroke and conversation. You’re becoming a new self and it hurts. Because the pull between the two is where you grow. It’s why we never stop moving or stay idle in our brokenness. You are healing, you are growing, you are becoming. Don’t lose the beauty in your blurred self. You’re coming into focus.

Dancing

She walked with this air, a confidence, a self-reliance, an illusion of sovereignty that saturated the space. There wasn’t a moment that anyone questioned or doubted her ability, because she was, after all, the queen. She always had the answer and knew the right moves. Her father always had the eyes of the people. They respected him and loved him. She wanted the same for herself. After that’s what he taught her, the people’s love was all that mattered.

This was the day. The place had been made; the preparations were beginning to finalize. This was a great day for her people. It was momentous and a time where she and her family would be remembered for all of time. She was so excited and nervous, but couldn’t let that show. That’s not what royals do. The poise and position was what separated her from a commoner, and she for one, was not common. She heard a knock on her door, and a servant came in saying, “They have arrived at the gates”. She started to hear the roar, the people cheering, the cymbals and trumpets. She went to her window and peered out over her dominion. The whole city had emerged to see what her family had done. So much pride welled up inside of her. They had done it. She would be remembered for this homecoming. Her father would have been so proud. Nothing could stand between her and greatness now.

But just as her self-glorification was peaking, she saw something. No, she was mistaken. No, it couldn’t be. No, it shouldn’t be. But as the caravan came closer into the city, it was clear. He was dancing. He was running. He was shouting. He was throwing things in the air. He was singing. Was he drinking? He was the king, but he looked nothing like a king. The people were dancing with him. He ran up to young girls and pulled them into the street, dancing and twirling and sweating profusely. How could he do this? What a fool he made her look. What type of mockery was this? Had he lost his mind? Never in a million years would she have seen her father like this. But there was her king, unraveling this great day for them both. Look what glory he had stolen from them both. And in this moment and forever more, she held such distain for him. He could not be her king.

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1 Chronicles 15:27-29

27 David was clothed with a robe of fine linen, as also were all the Levites who were carrying the ark, and the singers and Chenaniah the leader of the music of the singers. And David wore a linen ephod. 28 So all Israel brought up the ark of the covenant of the LORD with shouting, to the sound of the horn, trumpets, and cymbals, and made loud music on harps and lyres.
29 And as the ark of the covenant of the LORD came to the city of David, Michal the daughter of Saul looked out of the window and saw King David dancing and celebrating, and she despised him in her heart.

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This was something that stuck out to me in this story. I am usually a joyful person but I wanted to understand how Michal could despise David in her heart after a glance through a window. The narrative was a just a method of process for myself, but thought this one was worth sharing.

Michal missed the point in all the preparation and perception. Her selfish and prideful view of herself have stained the pages of the Word of God, saying that she despised the man who was after God’s heart.

May I never deny myself opportunity to worship God in the ways he has called me to, and may I never deny God the glory he deserves. I don’t want to be the one in the balcony judging. I want to be in the street, as close as I can get to the presence of God and celebrate with him.

Come to the water

How we grasp. How we toil. How we strive to push forward. How we desire. How we long for more. How we lack contentment. How we hate ourselves. How we miss … this. How we hear nothing but the sound of our own voice. Until… Until that whisper breaks through and world stands still. Until you realize his voice calling you and the joy it is to hear your name, your redeemed name, your adopted name.

“Oh, come, come to the water
All who are thirsty
Come and be filled
Oh, come, come to the river
Brothers and sisters
Come and be healed
Come and be healed

We believe in the kingdom come
We believe in the risen Son
You bring our hearts to life
Lord we come with our hands up high
We believe You will satisfy
You bring our hearts to life
You bring our hearts to life
We are alive

See people returning
The love of the father drawing us in
See salvation coming
Jesus our Savior
Light of the world
Light of the world

So let revival come
Let the people sing
The glory of Your name”

Grace

Grace is not just a movement that is pleasing to the eye and air.
Grace is not just the name of a cute little girl with pig tails.
Grace is not just a greeting to loved ones.

Grace is truth and love.
Grace is God’s gift to us.
Grace is the name of our Salvation.
Grace is the movement of God on our behalf, which makes it beautiful and the only action that is … Graceful in all of its perfection.

Hide myself

It’s not like gasping for air or drowning. It’s never like a car crash or an explosion. It’s not a downward spiral but the air does change. There’s less sun – less laughter – less self-confidence. The difference is felt in the shoulders and what they carry. The eyes scan faster, and the ears burn brighter. The heart feels more or less – it depends on the numbness. And the voices scream out all but worth and value. It happened so fast and yet so easy, the way I moved from you. The void stretched out with longing between and true distance unrealized.
Until… Until the crash, until the splatter, until the need becomes the air, the water, the things that made life. I didn’t feel the weight or the wounds you held, but now they crash down and reopen. And as cliché as the phrase is – I don’t know how I got here. One moment I’m walking in the garden with you – the next, I can’t show you my face.
But what I find most inexplicably beautiful and unrealistically wonderful about you, is despite the void or the distance or the universes that separates us, when I call your name, you cross it. You have no hesitation, no remorse, no second guessing even with your complete knowledge of me. When I call, you hear your adopted child and see nothing but your Son. You swoop in and cover me up. The wounds, the weight, the worth, and water all reside and are being restored in you. The gasping ceases – the laughter returns and more barriers are broken, as I hide myself in you.

Your Response

You are bold, audacious in your pursuit after God. You don’t compromise and you don’t settle for anything less than the full display of His glory in everything you do. You know He hears your audible and secret heart prayers and you trust Him with the result because He has proven His love for you time and time again- through flowers, through light, through struggle and pain, through joy and sacrifice. He has shown you you are beautiful in His Eyes, spotless, and nothing else matters. You are loved by a holy and massive God. And your response is bold, audacious in your pursuit after Him. You choose Him.

Unfathomable sight

Jacob fell in love with Rachel. It says that after he kissed her for the first time, he wept aloud. (You don’t see that in many Rom-Coms, probably could be confused with desperate versus romantic.) He fell so passionately in love with her that he worked 14 years to be with her. The first 7 were a joke and a scam where Leah, Rachel’s sister was married off to Jacob first. So Jacob worked another 7 years for Rachel while being married to Leah…. I can’t imagine the talk in the tent. Not only was Jacob reminded every day in his work, with his only wages to be a new wife, he came home Leah – the unwanted. She had done nothing wrong. I assume she wasn’t the instigator in the trick played on Jacob at the wedding ceremony. She was obeying her fathers orders, and because of it, she was loathed, detested, not cared for emotionally and more.

When the Lord saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb, but Rachel was barren. And Leah conceived and bore a son, and she called his name Reuben, for she said, “Because the Lord has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me.” She conceived again and bore a son, and said, “Because the Lord has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also.” And she called his name Simeon. Again she conceived and bore a son, and said, “Now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons.” Therefore his name was called Levi. And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” Therefore she called his name Judah. Then she ceased bearing. (Genesis 29:31-35 ESV)

I usually wash over her story, just dismissing her like Jacob, but today’s reading shown a light on her.

When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. (Matthew 9:36 ESV)

The verses in Matthew have seemingly nothing to do with the story of Leah, but it’s amazing how God brings light to the scriptures we read again and again. “The Lord saw…”. I don’t know about you, but I find that immensely encouraging. And what’s more, when he saw, “he had compassion for them…” The harassed and the helpless. The Lord’s compassion for Leah was directly shown in her ability to birth children.
The Lord sees us, the broken-hearted, the weary, the forgotten, the unwanted, the ‘mistakes’. He sees you. I’m not just talking about that God sees you when you mess up or what you do in dark corners. Even though that’s true, it’s not the main message here. He sees all of you. Your incurable ticks and quarks, your bad hair days and laugh lines. He sees you and your life. If that were all, that would be enough. The fact that the Almighty God, King of kings and Lord of lords gazes upon my life and sees me, knows me, all of what I am, is unfathomable to me. But he not only acknowledges us, but has compassion for us. He sees every situation and ever facet of your life and through his complete view of us, he has compassion and pours it out on us. How Great is He?  Maybe that’s one of the greatest secrets of love. In the movie Meet Joe Black, there is a line where a husband is describing his relationship with his wife – “Because she knows the worst thing about me, and it’s ok.” Now, I know what we are and have done is not “ok” in the eyes of God. But God’s love and compassion for His children paved the way for Him to see us, for us to be known by Him and to know Him. “For God so loved the world…”
I think Leah had a great deal of time to contemplate this, so many times looking up to the sky, screaming for acknowledgement. But even in her doubt, God saw her and had compassion on her. And Leah responded as we all should… in awe and wonder of the God we are able to be known by, she praised Him. I won’t pretend to know her heart in this verse, but I know mine. I know that even as a wanderer or an outcast or even as a someone forgotten, He sees you and I will praise Him, alone for that.

The Wilderness

Hosea 2:13-14

14 “Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the wilderness
and speak tenderly to her.
15 There I will give her back her vineyards,
and will make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.
There she will respond as in the days of her youth,
as in the day she came up out of Egypt.”

The wilderness is one of those terms I don’t think we really understand. At least I don’t fully. But more and more I understand wilderness, wandering and waiting are a necessity to my walk with Christ. They are the backbone to my faith. And while all those things sound daunting and unsure and unrequited, they are what I need to desiring and becoming more like Him.

Someone once tried comforting me in a season saying “That the wilderness is where God takes his beloved.” I had this gut reaction of fear. Knowing that I am God’s beloved, I really didn’t want to go through the wilderness. Where the wild things are? … I couldn’t stand that book as a child, so how in the world would I be able to actually live through it. The wilderness is not a place for Precious Moments Christians. You know the ones that want the picture perfect relationship with God that sounds great in a Small Group and looks legit when they raise their hands in church. I’m not talking about hypocrites. I’m talking about the Americanized Christian pseudo-culture. Don’t get me wrong, the wilderness was made for all of His beloved, but this culture won’t weather well there. The wilderness is seemingly unknown and vast – without bounds or edges. We don’t know and don’t have control over the beginnings and ends. Wilderness will stripe you of all the things you thought you couldn’t live without and then challenges it. It is dry and long and painful. It is harsh, depleting and real. It is lonely, difficult and will test you beyond what you thought was your breaking point. Why would I want or desire that? Why would I pray for that or sing for it? And yet we do.

Oceans – Hillsong

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior

Feels different when you don’t have the music or the hype, doesn’t it? An ocean may not have the same mental picture of a wilderness, but what we are crying out for is found in the same place.  You desire more of Him, but you forget that He already gave it all to you. It is your own hands that are not able to receive His free gift. He does not withhold Himself from you. You, we are the ones that need to go through the wilderness. This season is everything said, but more. It is more of Him than you thought there was. Maybe vocally you keep asking for Him but spiritually you have no way of comprehending what He actually is or how He will change you, rather how you will desire to change for Him. You still want Him… more of Him? Of course you do, because you know, by the words said over and over in church that there is no one like Him, that He is all you could ever dream and want. But being an Americanized pseudo-culture Christian leaves you with way more speculations of His goodness, than trusts in His works.

This is not a How-To get through the wilderness guide. I’m not selling any books.  All I know is I need this wilderness, the one I’m in right now. I need to go without. I need to know contentment. I need to know pain so I know the replacement of His goodness. I need to be out of control, so I can know what faith in Him actually means. I need to be tested so I will know He will always supply. I need be alone, so  I will know what it is to always be with Him. I need to be spent, so I can know what it is to rely on His strength. I need to go deeper by His leadership than I could ever wander. I need to know my God more, not for the sake of my salvation but because of it. I need to go through the wilderness to know what it is to be loved, to be His beloved.

Why the nose ring?

So, I normally don’t get asked about my nose piercing. I’ve had it for about 4 years now and the piercing kinda has been accepted into society. It isn’t really questioned. My immediate family is not the biggest fan of it and in professional situations, it is considered “unsuitable”. But I didn’t get it to conform to society, lessen my chances in the corporate world or rebel against parents. I got it to remember a truth in my life every time I look in the mirror.

A while ago, I heard a sermon on the “Arranged Marriage” of Isaac and Rebekah in Genesis 24. I would just give you the citation of the text but we both know you’re not going to get your Bible and compare the text with this little blog. So take a moment and just read this remarkable story….

“The Lord, the God of heaven, who brought me out of my father’s household and my native land and who spoke to me and promised me on oath, saying, ‘To your offspring I will give this land’—he will send his angel before you so that you can get a wife for my son from there. If the woman is unwilling to come back with you, then you will be released from this oath of mine. Only do not take my son back there.” So the servant put his hand under the thigh of his master Abraham and swore an oath to him concerning this matter. Then the servant left, taking with him ten of his master’s camels loaded with all kinds of good things from his master. He set out for Aram Naharaim and made his way to the town of Nahor. He had the camels kneel down near the well outside the town; it was toward evening, the time the women go out to draw water. Then he prayed, “ Lord, God of my master Abraham, make me successful today, and show kindness to my master Abraham. See, I am standing beside this spring, and the daughters of the townspeople are coming out to draw water. May it be that when I say to a young woman, ‘Please let down your jar that I may have a drink,’ and she says, ‘Drink, and I’ll water your camels too’—let her be the one you have chosen for your servant Isaac. By this I will know that you have shown kindness to my master.” Before he had finished praying, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder. She was the daughter of Bethuel son of Milkah, who was the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor. The woman was very beautiful, a virgin; no man had ever slept with her. She went down to the spring, filled her jar and came up again. The servant hurried to meet her and said, “Please give me a little water from your jar.” “Drink, my lord,” she said, and quickly lowered the jar to her hands and gave him a drink. After she had given him a drink, she said, “I’ll draw water for your camels too, until they have had enough to drink.” So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, ran back to the well to draw more water, and drew enough for all his camels. Without saying a word, the man watched her closely to learn whether or not the Lord had made his journey successful. When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels. Then he asked, “Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room in your father’s house for us to spend the night?” She answered him, “I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son that Milkah bore to Nahor.” And she added, “We have plenty of straw and fodder, as well as room for you to spend the night.” Then the man bowed down and worshiped the Lord, saying, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of my master Abraham, who has not abandoned his kindness and faithfulness to my master. As for me, the Lord has led me on the journey to the house of my master’s relatives.” The young woman ran and told her mother’s household about these things.

Laban and Bethuel answered, “This is from the Lord; we can say nothing to you one way or the other. Here is Rebekah; take her and go, and let her become the wife of your master’s son, as the Lord has directed.” When Abraham’s servant heard what they said, he bowed down to the ground before the Lord.

So they called Rebekah and asked her, “Will you go with this man?” “I will go,” she said. So they sent their sister Rebekah on her way, along with her nurse and Abraham’s servant and his men. And they blessed Rebekah and said to her, “Our sister, may you increase to thousands upon thousands; may your offspring possess the cities of their enemies.” Then Rebekah and her attendants got ready and mounted the camels and went back with the man. So the servant took Rebekah and left. Now Isaac had come from Beer Lahai Roi, for he was living in the Negev. He went out to the field one evening to meditate, and as he looked up, he saw camels approaching. Rebekah also looked up and saw Isaac. She got down from her camel and asked the servant, “Who is that man in the field coming to meet us?” “He is my master,” the servant answered. So she took her veil and covered herself. Then the servant told Isaac all he had done. Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death. (Genesis 24:7-28, 50-52, 58-67 NIV)

This is one of my favorite stories in the Bible. When you are sitting on the couch or bed and reading this cute little Bible story, it seems like a fake little fairy tale – everything works out in the end and there is sunshine and rainbows and they lived happily ever after. What you don’t get from the text is that the servant had to travel 500 miles to get to Nahor … By camel… Through a desert. Certainly not the most glamorous method of transportation. I didn’t cut out the parts that mentioned the hardship of the journey. There is not an article of notation of the struggle and disappointment that would have been an obvious truth for the distance and circumstances of travel. Throughout the entire journey The Lord is kept the central focus and given all the praise. It’s this incredible tapestry of events and signs that keep God the binding thread of the story.

I was made to display and be His pride and His workmanship. My disappointments are not even worth mentioning in compassion to the story that God is weaving for me in every aspect of my life. I know my love story will be great… It already is. Because I’m already half way there. He called me out before the foundations of the earth. The greatest love story ever told is already a reality in my life. The goal is not a happily ever after with “the one”; it is the grace and glory of God revealed through the story He tells through my life.

I want an arranged marriage like Isaac and Rebekah in the fact that only God could have orchestrated their good, perfect and pleasing union. I want a story that will inspire and only have the reasoning of God’s provision to any doubt or question. I want a relationship that will, from the beginning show God’s glory. I have a nose piercing so that every time I look in the mirror I remember that it’s worth it. That all the pain, disappointment, struggle, heartache and break will pale in comparison to His Glory demonstrated through my journey – in my romantic aspirations and in every other moment of my life.